Certainty
by Hassawassa
Summary: After a routine mission goes horribly wrong, Ford is left wondering if the existence he has come to know, is the real one. Unsure of who to trust, Aiden must try and remember what went wrong or face the reality that he made it all up. (Ford fic)
1. Something's very, very wrong

**Title**: Certainty

**Summary**: After a routine mission goes horribly wrong, Ford is left wondering if the existence he has come to know, is the real one. Unsure of who to trust, Aiden must try and remember what went wrong or face the reality that he made it all up. (Ford fic)

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing of Stargate Atlantis nor any of its chief or secondary characters.

**A/N**: I've been kicking this idea around for awhile and there just doesn't seem to be enough Ford stories out there so I made him the main focus of this one. I just hope I don't drive him mad with it----enjoy!

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**Chapter One**

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The last thing Aiden Ford remembered was sitting in the passenger seat of a puddle jumper, ready to pass through the Stargate. He had woken up that morning, feeling great. Showered, shaved and dressed before eight and summoned to the briefing room before a quarter after nine. He remembered McKay had offered him a coffee, and he refused, opting to rely on his own energy. Sheppard was late to the meeting as usual, only by a few minutes but still, Ford recalled Dr. Weir getting a little ticked. Teyla, was her usual bright self, eager to start a delegation.

Weir went over the evaluation from the probe sent through the gate. Aiden remembered everything was clear, readings were good, air was breathable and it even looked as there was a lone city amidst a sea of desert. Contact had been made with that city, Weir herself spoke to a man named Pran, claming he was a Mar'han. Teyla explained it was a type of chieftain, almost like a governor to the city. He expressed his wishes on meeting with Dr. Weir personally and she had agreed.

They all had decided on standard protocol, use of a puddle jumper, proceed with friendly caution. McKay would stay behind, accentually putting him in charge while Weir was away, Sheppard, Teyla and Ford himself would accompany her.

Just like any other day Aiden thought back, just like yesterday, and the day before that. He remembered the go ahead from McKay, he wished them luck, Sheppard had cracked a joke about needing it where they were going, McKay over the intercom made a comment not to forget the sunscreen as they passed through the event-horizon.

Typical.

Ford felt that all too familiar buzz, that tingle a person had when their particles were blasted apart then placed quickly back together. He could liken it to the chilled burning one felt when their leg was beginning to wake up after falling asleep, the cold rush before the pins and needles feeling. He remembered closing his eyes, like he always did. It really didn't matter if he did or not, but, Aiden considered going through the Stargate like jumping into the ocean, it was comforting to close them, protect them from the water that wasn't really there.

When he opened them back up, Ford didn't see a desert, he didn't see a city in the far distance surrounding by hazy hot clouds, he saw the ceiling of the gate room. Blinking, Aiden shifted his gaze reconfirming he was back in Atlantis as the edge of the Stargate came into his view.

The world seemed to flow in slow motion as suddenly from all around people gathered. Ford recognized one face being that of Dr. Beckett slowly kneeling down beside him, talking to him yet Aiden couldn't make out the man's Scottish brogue, as if Carson's lips moved and no words came out. Ford tried to move, tried to sit himself up when the doctor pushed him gently back down with a hand to his shoulder, telling him to relax.

Aiden had heard that, the order to relax, sounds seeming to wash back over his ears suddenly, bringing the world back into order as everything around him quickened its pace, becoming normal.

"How do you feel Lieutenant?" Beckett shined a small light in Ford's eyes making him wince against it.

"F-fine, I guess." Ford's voice sounded distant to him, when he realized he was whispering. Clearing his throat. "Where, where's everybody else?" After the initial aftershock of waking up back in the gate room on his back, Ford turned his focus on his teammates, wondering if they were alright. He thought maybe they might be laying the gate room floor like he was.

"Everybody else?" Beckett asked, checking Aiden's pulse. The young Lieutenant now noticed the concern on the doctor's face, less that there was something physically wrong with Ford, more with what he had just said.

Before Aiden could reply McKay came racing up from somewhere to the left looking Ford over before his spoke, sounding disquietingly serious. Ford knew that when Rodney talked that way, it usually meant that something really bad had happened. He prayed then Sheppard and Weir and Teyla they were alright, knowing there was something both Beckett and McKay weren't telling him.

"Good, you're awake." Rodney frowned though he seemed relieved.

"Where's everyone else? Are, are they hurt what's going on?" Ford began to sit up again, Carson sighed, letting him.

"He keeps talking about others, I guess he doesn't know they're back?." Beckett said briefly up to McKay before he turned his attention back to Ford who seemed deeply confused. "They came back without you Lieutenant, you've been gone for three days and suddenly you were here, just lying here. Do you remember anything that happened?"

Ford strained his mind trying to remember, it seemed like a flash, one minute they were leaving, the next he was back. Where did it all go wrong, why couldn't he just remember? "I—I don't know, where's the Major maybe he knows what happened to me" Yes, Ford thought, John would know, he'd have an explanation. Maybe it was the Wraith, maybe they were attacked and he was captured. A whole new set of worries crossed Aiden's mind then-----if it where the Wraith, what in the hell did they do to him. He felt fine, like himself, just tired.

"Major Lewis?, he's over in the infirmary, they were about to dial the planet again and go look for you, then you just showed up." McKay cut in, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Lewis? No, no I mean Major Sheppard." Ford replied hastily, looking around the gate room for any sign of John, in fact he didn't see any sign of either Teyla or Dr. Weir for that matter.

Carson grimaced gently, seeming to be unsure of what to say. Ford noticed that he and McKay kept shooting each other worried glances, as Rodney shuffled awkwardly where he stood.

"Ah, are you sure he's alright?" McKay asked Beckett, scratching the top of his head. " Lieutenant if you need a few days rest, that's fine, I mean you've obviously been through quite an ordeal."

"I'm fine Dr. McKay." Aiden said heatedly, wishing someone would cut the crap and tell him what was going on, what happened to Weir and the others. "Listen if someone's hurt or missing like I was, I want to know. I feel fine so I'm up for any rescue mission you've got planed."

"Aiden---"Beckett said softly shaking his head. "There's no need for any rescue mission. Everyone's safe. We were really more focus on finding you, and now you're here, thankfully in one piece."

Ford looked to both men, glanced around to every medical technician and other various members of the Atlantis team, they all seemed to look at him as if trying to hide that what he said, sounded wrong to them. "I want to talk to Major Sheppard." At hearing the name, Beckett looked slowly up towards McKay.

"Listen! If someone doesn't tell me what the hell is going on---"

"Now, now. Don't get all flustered I'm sure, there's a reasonable explanation for all this, right Dr. McKay?"

Rodney shifted his eyes back and forth from Carson to Ford before he spoke up, clearing his throat and nodding quickly. "I—ah, think you just might need some rest, I'm ordering you on sick leave Lieutenant."

Ford shot the physicist a hot glare, unable to speak at first. "Order? No offence doctor, but since when are you giving orders, where's Dr. Weir?"

McKay seemed to glare right back at Aiden, tensing up his face before he replied sharper then he meant it to sound. "Since, I am, in charge after all, Lieutenant."

"Please Aiden, let's get you to the infirmary." Beckett stood up then, reaching down to help the Lieutenant to his feet. Ford felt a little shaky about standing but nothing as much as the feeling of total confusion and disbelief he had crippling his mind. Was it all that bad that McKay and Beckett thought keeping the truth from him would be better? "Something happened to him didn't it, something's happened to the Major." Ford walked towards McKay pulling away from Carson's attempts to lure him back to the infirmary. "What is it you're not telling me McKay, and where's Dr. Weir, where is everyone?"

"Lieutenant, I know things might seem, confusing, but I want you to go with Dr. Beckett, there's a bed waiting for you and everything. Now, I don't want to have to use force." Rodney began in a slight hush ending firmly before he was quickly cut off by a now irate Aiden.

"Force?! You don't have authority to do that doctor, only Weir does and she put you in charge for this one mission only, now where the hell is she?!"

"Aiden, please." Carson begged softly from behind him, and tried to tug on his arm, only Ford pulled away from him and shouted harshly. "Get, you're hands off me! If this is some kind of joke McKay, it's so not funny anymore! I want to talk to Dr. Weir and I want to talk to her NOW!"

"Perhaps you'd feel better after you had a little conversation with Major Lewis"

"Lewis?! The last time I checked, I was under direct command of Major Sheppard. Now either tell me what is going on, or I'll find out myself!" Inches away, McKay seemed to draw back slightly, afraid that the Lieutenant might stop shouting in his face and deck him any moment.

Aiden waited, seeing the physicist cower slightly. Why wouldn't anyone tell him what was happening? He needed answers and he needed them fast. He knew McKay really wasn't the one to keep stuff from anyone. If the physicist had something to say, Rodney had no problem letting loose and saying it even in the most cases where it was snotty. But ultimately, McKay spoke the truth.

Ford simply stood there, flabbergasted after a long and awkward stretch of silence. "I---I can't believe you, I can't believe any of this!" He motioned to the gate room. "Something is seriously wrong here Dr. McKay_, and I want_ _to talk_, _to Dr. Elizabeth Weir_, do you understand me?!" Aiden emphasized every word he said.

Ford watched carefully as Rodney's eyes shifted over the Lieutenant's shoulder. Suddenly Aiden felt a sharp prick in his arm, turning quickly with a slight snarl he saw Beckett holding a freshly depressed syringe. Ford's expression shifted from surprise to distress, almost saying 'how could you' to Carson who shook his head, looking down right guilty for doing it. Aiden's eyes fluttered, rolling up into his head as his knees gave way sending him downwards once more.

Several med-techs including Beckett caught the Lieutenant and lifted him up onto a nearby gurney. The doctor pulled up one of Ford's eyelids and checked his pupil's reaction, sighing then in both relief and gloom. He turned to McKay who looked just as culpable as he did. "We shouldn't have done that." Carson said uneasily placing Aiden's hands by his sides after checking his pulse. "He wasn't going to harm anyone, It's Ford we're talking about here."

Rodney interjected. "He's unstable, you saw it as well as I did. Whatever happened to him, well…" McKay faltered, giving everyone who wasn't a medical person the evil eye, expecting them to stop rubbernecking and get back to work, at least for Ford's sake.

"Mild psychosis, perhaps trauma from whatever he went through. Either way I'll keep a close eye on him. I just wish we didn't have to sedate him." Beckett muttered, glancing towards the unconscious Ford as his assistants began to wheel the young Lieutenant away towards the infirmary.

"Do you think he's dangerous?" McKay asked finally, cutting to the chase for the information he was after.

Beckett gazed to him harshly, shaking his head. "Ford? No. He's just confused right now, give him time to readjust, he'll remember soon enough."

"Well I hope so, not only for Ford's sake, but ours as well. This mission is too important."

Clearing his throat, McKay tried his best at reasoning with the overly passionate doctor who was now glaring at him, thinking the physicist was only out for his needs "It means, that I can't have an unbalanced member on this mission doctor. And if he is, what am I suppose to do? Send him home? I wish it were that easy."

Beckett simply stared at him, disapprovingly. McKay's tone lightened, he wasn't a cold hearted man, it was just business was business.

"I like Ford, I, look on him as a friend and he's a good solider, one of our best and I'm worried just as much as you are. But I can't have him running around making ludicrous claims. If rest is what he needs, then he'll get it, and if it doesn't get better---"

Carson simply turned from him, opting to concentrate on curing Aiden then lecturing McKay on teamwork and human decency. He followed the fleeting image of Ford laid out on the gurney, as everyone around them seemed to go back about their business.

McKay crossed his arms once more, worrying about Aiden's dependability, wondering if perhaps they've been in fact compromised but his sudden and unexplained reappearance. Rodney decided he would have to keep a close eye on the young Lieutenant as well, among all the other billion things he had to do. As McKay walked back up the main staircase to the gate control room he mumbled to himself, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Who in the hell, is Dr. Elizabeth Weir?"

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**A/N**: DUN DUN DUN!!! Please tell me what you guys think.


	2. A Familiar Face

**Chapter Two**

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Everything had gone black, a fuzzy, unrelenting black that he tried to struggle against but in the end, found it to be too overwhelming. The last thing Ford saw was McKay's absent expression as he tried to not look concerned. In truth, Aiden had the strong urge to punch the physicist and introduce him to the floor. Then, everything had zoned out, became washed over and before Ford knew it, he wasn't in the gate room any longer.

He was in a desert.

Not just any desert, but the one he was _supposed_ to have gone to with the rest of his team. The low, dusty, orange land stretched out in every direction, low dunes and mountainous ridges scattered the terrain. The plateaus reminded Aiden of the ones he had seen on a vacation to Arizona years ago with his family. _Painted desert_, _yeah, that was it_, he thought to himself, shielding his eyes as the winds rose, picking up sand and spraying him with it. When the view cleared, Ford noticed that in the very distance, perhaps a two mile walk were lights, and tall spiraling buildings made of some sort of dark indefinable metal.

About to make the long trek towards the city, Aiden stopped as the winds kicked back up, causing him to pull his cap lower on his face, turning his head towards his shoulder, bracing against the cutting sand. He raised a hand and tried to walk forward, air spinning round him in a loud screech that died down as suddenly as it came.

"Took you long enough to get here." Came a voice; slight, playful, and laid-back. The very sound making the young Lieutenant lower his hand and look up, unable to believe what he was hearing until he actually saw its owner's face.

After a moment of disbelief, Ford spoke up, testing. "Major?"

There, standing just a few feet in front of him, dressed like he would be when causally wandering around the city, stood Sheppard, a coy smile on his face like this was all natural and commonplace for them to be meeting in some strange alien desert. John raised his finger and corrected Aiden lightly. "It's, not exactly like that. I'm more of a----representation of your memory of, well; me."

Shaking his head, Ford took a few steps closer, trying to make sense of what was happening. "Wait, what do you mean, my memory?"

Arching a brow Sheppard seemed to be thinking the question over, even going as far as to cross his arms over his black collard shirt. "I'm, for lack of a better term, a figment of your imagination. A----part of your brain that represents, John Sheppard. I have all the personality, history, and memory that you know about him. Bummer, ain't it?"

Ford was struck silent, looking round the desert, towards the distant city over the Major's shoulder. "So this, all this, is?"

"A dream? Maybe, I mean, you don't exactly see a gate lying around anywhere, do you?" John quirked a smile offering a hand to the Lieutenant to take a walk with him. Ford frowned at the answer, actually taking a glance round behind him. Sheppard was right, there wasn't a Stargate anywhere, no entry point for this planet. So how else could he have gotten there? He decided then to follow him, walking up along side of John as they crossed the desert in the direction of the city. "You're still not buying this are you?" John asked after a minute or two of silence met by the gentle weeping of the winds.

"Well, what do you expect me to do Sir? I wake up in the middle of an alien planet meanwhile I'm not too sure where I am in the first place, and you're telling me you're not really you."

"I can be if you like, you know---" Sheppard shrugged, musing. "If it's more comfortable for you, I'm flexible." Ford couldn't believe it, the, whatever it was, even acted like his commanding officer even down to the small nuances and quirky expressions.

"If you don't mind, I will. It's good to see you Major, they, ah, they won't tell me what happened. McKay I mean." Ford took a deep breath. There was only so much he mind could take at a time, even if this was a dream, he was glad at least to see a familiar face, someone he trusted.

"Oh, I know he is. Well, only know cause _you_ know. You know?" John shook his head laughing lightly. "But you sure did pick a weird ass place for us to meet, this, isn't exactly what I would call, picturesque."

"And you think I know why I showed up here either? Why am I dreaming this place Sir?, I mean, is there something here that means something? Nothing's making sense right now." Ford confessed, feeling worse then he had upon waking up in the gate room today, if it was still today that is, he couldn't really tell anymore. Things seemed to be making less and less sense to him and trying to organize his thoughts and memories proved near impossible.

John looked to him them, after looking back at the footprints they had made in the desert sand, wondering why he found that to be oddly fascinating that the wind simply blew them away, like they never existed in the first place. Then again, technically, they never _did _really exist; this _was_ a dream after all. "I don't know, it's kinda nice in here, don't you think? I mean, I wouldn't make plans to build a summer home, but, it's got potential."

"Why am I here John?" Ford stopped, staring up at the Major, any other time he could have taken his humor, his, clever way of looking at things, but now what he really needed was answers. Aiden wished then that he was speaking to the real Sheppard, but, he supposed something of John was better then nothing. "What is this?" He motioned then to the desert, the city that they were strangely closer too. Just how long had they been walking anyway? There was no way they crossed the mile and a half to make the city look that close, shining brightly just on the horizon line as the sun slowly set behind them.

"A---" Sheppard began but was quickly cut off by the young Lieutenant.

"A dream, I know, but why am I having it?"

"That's for you to find out Aiden, I can only tell you, what you already know. So once you do have the answers, we can talk more, ok?" Shoving his hands in his pockets the Major gave him a sympathetic look. Ford only returned a frown.

"Yeah, I know, it's a cryptic crapola answer, but what do you expect? You're the one blocking stuff. Besides, it isn't so bad, not if you don't let it. Just remember that. And if McKay gives you grief, just---ah he's just being McKay. You can take the physicist out of his environment but you can take the stick out of McKay's ass, it's a part of life."

"Sir, with all due respect, how am I supposed to do this by myself, I mean, usually when the shit hits the fan, well----you're there."

"All the answers, all the help you _need_; is up here." John rose a hand up, tapping a finger into Aiden's forehead, giving him a chuckle."You just gotta find them. He, I," Sheppard blinked, correcting his imaginary self, "I mean, I know you can do this Ford, just, have a little faith, hell it ain't gate physics."

"Faith?" Ford asked simply, faith in what? That this day couldn't get any weirder?

"Yeah, pretty powerful stuff from what I hear." The Major began, trying to sound wise. "_And;_ when taken in small doses, proves to be damn good for your health. Kinda like fiber." John laughed shortly through his nose before he glanced up. "Ah damn. Well buddy, you have to wake up now. Someone is calling you." Sheppard smirked, pointing skyward.

"What? I---I don't hear anything..." Aiden looked around, up into the sky where John was motioning to, only then did the winds pick up, less bitting but shrill against his ears. It seemed as if within this wind, he heard something else---someone talking.

_Aiden?_ Was that, was that just someone calling his name? Ford looked back down to the Major, who stood, fingers laced in front of him, giving the young man a nod. As he spoke to Aiden, his voice seemed lesser, farther away, mixing in with the voice coming from somewhere above.

"I'll see you later buddy------_Aiden? Aiden can you hear me?----_ keep in touch-----_Lieutenant?" _

"Wait…Sheppard." Ford raised a hand to his head, as his vision blurred, something inside his mind kicked on, started tingling, suddenly there was blackness that crept over his eyes, then bright faded lights. "Major, I'm not ready yet, I have more questions…." He struggled slightly, feeling as if he was swimming though thick, white, water. He realized then, it was because he was waking up.

"Ford? Can you hear me?" Beckett's voice brought Ford forward, making him open his eyes as the light became brighter and the fuzziness, slipped away. He found himself laying on his back once again, this time in the infirmary, he felt the solid bed beneath him and swallowed hard, discovering his throat as dry as the sand that had surround him only a moment before. Or had it?

"W---water, p---please…" Ford whispered, his voice hoarse as he looked about, finding the doctor standing to his left, beside his bed.

Carson nodded, as Aiden urged his body to move, he wanted to sit up and began to push his weight forward with his arms, finding the action more taxing on his strength then it should have. A hand on his shoulder eased him back, there was a glass of water suddenly in his face, the hand holding it, Beckett's.

"Here you are. The sedatives tend to dry you out, it's natural. You'll probably be drinking like a Labrador after a long run for awhile, but---it'll go away." Carson laughed lightly, finding amusement in his rather ungraceful analogy.

Ford nodded, trying to re-hydrate his throat by swallowing continually and finding it, impossible. He thankfully took the cup from Beckett, trying his best not to spill it.

"Your muscles are going to be laggy for a bit as well, once again the sedative, but that will…" The doctor's voice faded off, as he watched Ford bring the cup to his lips.

Aiden took a long gulp of the water, the coldness of it burning his throat if it were possible, though the ache only lasted a few moments, followed by such relief. Yeah, he really needed it, then again walking around in the desert will do that to you. Ford stopped himself then, mid second sip. _Now, that was a dream man, you were never in the desert, at least, I don't think I was…_He thought to himself.

Catching the concerned look, not surprisingly coming from the doctor, Ford relaxed back in his bed, resting the half-empty cup on his leg. Beckett went about filling it to the top before sitting down on the bed right next to Aiden's, folding his hands on his lap.

"You think I'm dangerous---don't you?" Ford spoke louder and stronger this time, though he gulped through his sentence, trying to get rid of the annoying tickle still lodged in his throat.

"What?! No, no of course not…" Beckett began, sound astonished at such an idea.

Ford nodded slowly, his perceptive expression, unchanging. "Then why did you knock me up with sedatives Dr. Beckett?"

Carson stumbled over his words, a lump gummed up his throat as he was unable to find a proper answer. Something, that would make them all sound less guilty, that, they had to do it, for Ford's safety, for the safety of the city, the mission, some excuse. Nothing made Beckett's conscious any lighter, made the pit of blame any less inside his stomach. "You're, you're sick Aiden. I----don't know exactly what's wrong with you yet. I decided to wait till you woke up before I started any tests."

"What? You wanted my consent? You can go and dope me up but if you want to take a blood sample, all of a sudden you need permission?" Ford began sharply, finding his tone more bitting then he had meant it to sound. Then again, he thought, _I have every right to be hurt, don't I? It's not like I threatened anyone. Thought about it, but I didn't do anything to warrant a jab in the arm. _

"I know, you're angry Lieutenant, and, and confused, and I want to help you. You know I do. I—just…"

"Don't trust me." Ford raised his cup and drank once more, the chill matching the sinking cold feeling in his gut. "Well, I don't trust you all that much either. I mean…last thing I remember was going through the gate with Major Sheppard, Dr. Weir and Teyla. Then the next thing I know, I'm face up in the gateroom, and then, for no reason, I get drugged----what's up with that?" Ford was about to reach over and place his glass on the tall, metal, medical table next to him, one that would usually carry instruments and tools on it, though this one was empty. Though he couldn't exactly get his hand to lift that far over, Carson reached up and tenderly took the cup from him, placing it on the table.

Ford would have otherwise thanked the doctor, but considering this was _his_ doing, it didn't feel appropriate. Beckett cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head seeming unsure how to ask the questions Aiden knew were hanging on the man's tongue. Really, all the doctor wanted to do was say he was sorry, God; how sorry he was.

Carson instead, decided to go right for the kill, perhaps an unwise move. "Lieutenant, that's another thing---you keep mentioning these people. A Sheppard and Weir----"

"These people?" Ford shot the doctor a look, at least shot it as fast as he could manage. He struggled to pull himself up higher so he could sit, thankfully his strength was slowly returning, though it might have been an hour maybe more until he was able to walk on his own accord.

"Yes, Ford I don't know how to tell you this, but, I think, whatever happened to you while you were gone, well, subconsciously, you're….making things up." Beckett said cautiously, knowing fully well that it probably was too soon for him to do so. Nevertheless, if he didn't try and help Ford out quickly, there was no telling what McKay might do.

"Wait? Making them up? The Major? Weir; I'm not making this stuff up doctor, they're real people, why don't you remember that, what the hell is wrong with everyone here?"

"Aiden, please, listen----"Beckett raised a hand, trying to calm Ford down, finding that he had opened a large can of worms in his conquest to help him.

"No you listen. I don't know what's going on, why, you don't remember them, but I'm telling you the truth!" Ford squeezed his fist, his voice heightening, tone pleading to the doctor that this wasn't some joke, some delusion. "Something happened to them doctor, something---"Aiden motioned lamely with his hand, moving it the best he could at the moment. "---happened to us when we passed through the gate."

"Something did happen to you Lieutenant." Carson interjected, trying to reason with him. "You were separated from your team for three days, Major Lewis, well, we were all worried sick. He was about to man a search party and return to the planet where you disappeared, but, instead you showed up here. You have to try and remember what happened while you were gone."

Ford exhaled harshly, shaking his head. He looked away a moment, starting out into the infirmary as he tried to rectify himself, finding this 'awakening' to be a complete nightmare. Finally, Ford turned back to the doctor, speaking bluntly. "That's just it. What do you think I've been trying to do? I _can't_ remember. But that doesn't explain why all of you guys can't either."

Beckett sighed, folding and unfolding his fingers as he stared down at his feet, there had to be delicacy for all this, a sudden shock to the system, to Aiden's mind could prove very, very dangerous. But he had to start somewhere. "Maybe, if you talk with Major Lewis, it might---spark some memories."

"And I'm telling you. I don't know any Major Lewis. I've never served under him, never seen him, never even heard of him before." Ford said crossly, his head was hurting, perhaps that was an after effect of the sedative too, maybe his brain was finally coming back into reality. If you could call this any sort of reality.

Noticing the fatigue in his patient, Carson quietly suggested. "You should rest Aiden. I know this has been, taxing. I understand that you're confused. But, you're in the best place you could be right now, I think you should get some more sleep."

"Yeah, I don't think I can. It's about just as weird when I go to sleep as when I'm awake. I don't have much of a choice where I want to be do I?" This the young Lieutenant seemed to say to himself, rubbing his forehead. At least in his dreams he could see Sheppard, talk to him, maybe together they could figure out what was going on; why, no one could remember him, or Teyla or Weir for that matter.

Beckett let out a long deep breath again, standing up as he took up a pitcher of water and refilled Ford's cup, shifting the metal tray table closer so that he could reach it easier. "Maybe, when you're feeling more up to it, you can talk to, to Patrick."

Ford looked up to him, dropping his hand to his lap as he stared at the doctor. Beckett then realized it was because Aiden had no idea, to whom he was referring. "Major Lewis, his---"Carson couldn't believe he was saying this, that he had to reiterate the name of a person that Ford had been working along side with for months now. "--his first name is Patrick. I'll send him in later. Alright?"

"Yeah, whatever you think is good for me Dr. Beckett, just, no more sedatives ok?" Ford lightened his tone, though really it was more of a front put up to make the doctor feel a bit easier, maybe make Beckett ease up on him a little so he could have time to think everything over. Maybe playing along with this whole 'amnesia' thing, he was _supposed_ to have, wasn't such a bad idea after all.

It worked, Carson laughed lightly and scratched the stubble on his chin, smiling softly. "Only if you behave Lieutenant."

"Thanks." Ford replied dryly, pretending to suddenly become very sleepy. "Ooo, must be those drugs, I can hardly keep my eyes open." He feigned a yawn and leaned back, resting his hands by his sides as he slowly closed his eyes, breathing easier.

Carson watched him a moment, then drew away. He had other priorities he had to see to that day, though really the only one that truly concerned him right now was Ford, everything else could have easily waited in his opinion. He left the infirmary and was surprised to find McKay waiting outside the doorway where Beckett couldn't see him. The physicist was leaning along the wall, arms across his chest, waiting patiently.

"Well?" He asked upon spotting the doctor, making Carson stop short with a start.

Beckett nodded down the hall, glancing shortly back into the room where Aiden was, 'sleeping'. Making sure every thing was status-quo before he left. Rodney pushed himself off the wall and followed the doctor, meeting his purposely-slow pace.

"He seems healthy enough, physically. But I still have to run a few tests to make sure."

"Doctor." McKay spoke up hastily, sharply, making Beckett knit his brow, finding the physicist's impatient tone distasteful. "How, is he mentally?"

"That's the thing. He, seems completely delusional. I can't say for sure, I want to talk to him some more, though on the other hand he sounds so honest, he really believes that these people exist. And this, hysteria mixed with his apparent amnesia. I've never seen this before, not this severe." Beckett replied worriedly, staring at the hall in front of them.

"And you think this might be, permanent?" McKay asked hesitantly, he didn't like seeing anyone under his command or even anyone in general go through what Aiden seemed to be going through. He just wish he understood why. Math, science, alien technology, were all things he could work with if there was a problem, but the human mind, that was a territory the physicist feared to tread. That's why they had people here like Beckett anyway.

"Well, I can't say that either really." Carson continued. "He might remember everything tomorrow, or tonight even., it could take a week, who knows. I think he should talk to Patrick, that might clear things up for us. Maybe after he hears what happened to him, as far as the Major knows, Aiden might remember something."

"Sounds good. Do what you have to doctor, and keep me posted." Rodney nodded still frowning, but satisfied nonetheless. He gave the doctor a weak, reassuring smile and stalked off, heading back to the gate control room where he was need for a few debriefings, leaving Beckett to himself in the hallway.

Carson watched the physicist disappear around a corner, sighing through his nose as he turned round and headed in the opposite direction, passing in front of the entrance to the infirmary where he stopped, finding Ford sitting up in bed, his feet on the ground and his body hunched over. Aiden had his head cradled in his hands, his arms resting on his knees. Beckett couldn't help but stare, seeing how hard this really was on the young man, how hard he was trying to make sense out of all this, confusion. For a moment, though brief, just seeing Ford sitting there like that; Carson thought that maybe the reason Ford was feeling like this, remember things that weren't real and forgetting things that were, was because, he _was_ telling the truth. Why else would be so sure about it all? Beckett read about psychosis, knew it's various and lengthily symptoms; but this, this felt different.

This though, was only a passing thought, Carson thinking himself silly for even considering the notion. In fact, he was on his way right now to check on Major Lewis, who would probably have been in the mess hall for lunch by now. Lewis being a very _real_ person the last time he knew it.

"Poor lad." Beckett said softly to himself, continuing on down the hall. He tried to think of something else, all the other things he had to do today. However, the troubled feeling wouldn't go away. Something wasn't right, Carson knew it, he could _feel_ it, though slight. Something that wasn't specifically linked to Ford. Only time would tell now, he thought, and for Aiden's sake, hopefully it would yield some answers.

* * *

A/N: Wooo, things deepen, and Ford's world looks darker. Where's Sheppard when you need him? 


End file.
